Zero Mass: The Worst Ending Ever Undone
by Zura
Summary: This fic is a work of angry nerd rage. You have been warned. Three chapters with a DA:O style ending focusing on a Tali LI. Male Shepard, first person perspective, conclusion of the "Fairest Of All" arc.
1. Chapter 1

[INC NERD RAGE]

This is a work of angry nerd rage. You have been forewarned. It is excessively long, it is excessively happy, and it is excessively, bitterly written not out of love but out of protest. My mind and heart expected such great things from the team at Bioware and expected them to live up to their billing – ME being the greatest sci fi trilogy of our time. It wasn't, isn't, can't be anymore. The cracks had begun to show and the once beloved Canadian company is now another rush 'em out, sub par, going through the motions kind of game factory. It is a sad day for video game fans everywhere when a company simply stops caring like it used to. I don't know whether to blame them, EA or the cruel fates but one thing is certain: no matter what they do to try to fix it (if that even happens), nothing can erase the deep anger and sadness that followed the end of ME3 instead of the joy and impact the other two made. Hopefully this will help erase some of that for you as it did for me.

[END OF NERD RAGE]

Even as the Catalyst speaks I'm trying to make sense of everything it is trying to tell me. Broken, injured, bleeding, exhausted I can barely stand but here I am trying to decide the fate of a galaxy.

"I know you've thought about destroying us-" it was saying and that snapped me out of it.

"Thought about it?" I trembled. "I've _dreamed_ of nothing else. Look around us. My soldiers are dying every second we keep talking and you're telling me what I already know."

"Your anger is understandable-"

"Who the hell do you think you are!" I said with as much strength as I could summon. "You understand nothing, you machine ghost. How many trillions have you taken – just to proclaim it in the name of order? Do you not understand your own nature and the nature of what you do? You're a misguided synthetic and your Reapers are harbingers of war, not order. No, worse than that. You're war itself."

"What does that make you then, Commander?" it challenged.

"Me?...I'm your end. The end of all cycles. The last thing a Reaper sees before it closes its eye."

"You must activate the change, Commander, because no one else can. You must either destroy all synthetics as you long to do, or give up your life to control us. You-"

"No. I'm not playing your game, machine." I shook my head. "I don't need you. I'll find another way."

Summoning my will to move I head away from the Catalyst back the way I came. "Wait! No! If you leave now everything will be lost!" it pleaded.

"With your options, we're lost already. Go to hell." I cursed at it.

"Wait! There is a third option!"

"Yeah? Tell me about it moving. I'm in need of medigel."

"Synthesis. The joining of organics and synthetics."

"Sounds like a bad idea." I said off the top of my head.

"It is the next step in evolution. With it the Reapers have no purpose. Everything across the galaxy will be in harmony."

"You think lumping everything together is the solution? Harvesting us for millions of years and you still don't understand." I said as I limped on. "Typical. Forcing your will on everything that moves isn't benevolence, it's tyranny. Take your options back to whatever dark space hell you came from."

"You're choosing annihilation, Shepard." it warned.

I stopped in my tracks. "Then at least we chose. And your Citadel will never be the gate to another civilization again."

"Perhaps...perhaps there is a fourth option."

"And?"

"Add your energy to the Crucible with mine. You will undergo Synthesis and will be able to direct the energy of the Crucible." it explained. "Only you will be changed and with it be able to communicate with the Reapers."

"What's the catch?"

"I will become part of you in every sense. You may not like the effects. And I'm not sure you will survive."

"But I can stop the Reapers without blowing up the relays and the geth and the Citadel and strand everyone at Earth?"

"I don't know. This is not a plan I have forseen."

I thought about it for all of a second. "Good. Let's do it then."

"You're sure?"

"No. But it sounds a lot better than your first three plans."

Heading down the ramp I find the strength to run. Jumping headlong into a beam that will almost certainly kill me I think not of Tali but of Liara. I see her slow blue smile and sparkling eyes flash before me as I hit the beam and feel my body turn to lead.

* * *

The sun rises over the rocky canyons and stubborn flora. An arid, dusty land with twisting plants stretches out below as wind whips around the small camp site. The plateau was almost solid rock except for the layer of sediment on top that supported sparse greenery. Construction wise it was a decent find; the thick stone would make for a good basement.

Alone I work against the sun's beating rays. All around me the tools and raw materials needed to accomplish my task litter the camp site. I've already excavated downward and shaped the outline of the foundation with high grade cement. It's taken a day to dry which has given me time to start cutting some of the lumber.

My sleeves are rolled back and when I sweat the moisture highlights the green nodes just under my skin. Of all the things that took getting used to it was being covered in the bio-circuitry all over my body and my eyes glowing green. It would be hard facing the people I knew best when I looked the way I did. Not that anyone had ever gotten a good look at me since I'd been fired back to Earth by the Crucible.

There were advantages though. The machine in my mind could cut, plan, adjust and piece together my project here effortlessly. I would never worry about eyeballing it because I now operated with inhuman precision. Machine precision, to be exact. I wondered often what it would be like to get into a battle with these new upgrades. The unpredictability of a savage biotic pugilist fused with the unerring calculations of a machine. I almost wanted to pick a fight with something just to find out.

I had built a shelter for sleeping and stocked it with rations but it wasn't wholly necessary. If I wanted to I could simply drain some of the self recharging batteries I'd brought with me. I didn't like using them in place of sleep and food though. While they were more efficient by far I could not bring myself to operate solely on electricity. It was...too synthetic.

I was in the middle of hammering a couple of joints together when I saw the shuttle approaching. A geth ship by design it hovered out of range a few moments before coming in closer. I pretended not to notice as it passed high overhead and landed backwards from my position. This was going to be interesting to say the least. I'd not yet interacted with geth or anyone since leaving Earth in clandestine fashion. Getting a reading on the geth consensus was going to be a new experience to say the least.

It takes the hulking Primes a few minutes to clear the top of the ridge behind me and to start coming down the slope. I continue to work as I hear their plodding steps draw closer. Then I hear something that I wasn't expecting at all. Much lighter, quicker steps that almost slap the ground as they went. It was a distinctive sound I wasn't quite prepared to hear just yet and was not properly set up for.

"Shepard!" Tali called from 33.5894 meters away. I turned in shock to her bounding down the hill towards me. Looking around for a helmet or some kind of obscuring clothing I realize now that it is too late to hide my appearance. She'd already seen this...new form of mine and not on my terms. I could not now cover up and pretend that I wasn't glowing green just a moment ago.

When she hits the plateau I realize that Tali is almost in a full sprint. I thought perhaps seeing what I'd become would dampen her eagerness to see me but in this case I had been quite wrong. As she approaches me apparently she didn't feel the need to slow down and the impact knocks both of us down in a heap of arms and legs. She crushes me around the ribs and doesn't say anything as she attempts to choke the life out of me. She doesn't speak as the dust settles and neither do I. Nothing need be said at the moment.

As the Primes make it down to us she relents and we get back to our feet. Contrary to what I thought I would see there is no revulsion under her face plate when we look at each other.

"Shepard..."

"Tali."

"I thought you were dead."

"Yeah...I get that a lot."

Freeing an arm she cuffs me with a fairly solid three fingered fist. My head snaps back unexpectedly and she massages her knuckles as I blink in sudden confusion.

"I thought you were dead, bosh'tet!" she shrieked.

"I know, I'm sorry." I said as I rubbed my jaw. "I had to get off Earth. Too many people there to see me like this."

"You could have sent me a message!" she raged. "Keelah, you inconsiderate human bastard! And what have you done to yourself? You look like a VI!"

"Yeah, that's kind of a long story." I scratched my head. "I'll tell you all about it...how did you find me anyway?"

"A geth drone scanning the planet for farmland spotted your camp from orbit." she explained. "I never dreamed I would find you here on Rannoch alive. Dammit Shepard! Do you know what I've been going through without you?"

"I know, it's just...I didn't want you to see me like this. I hoped to break the news...differently."

"Idiot!"

"I guess."

Thoroughly outraged she did a quick scan of my campsite. "What is this you're building anyway?"

"Tch, Isn't it obvious?"

"It looks like a giant stone hole." she commented.

"It is. I'm building a monument to the noble Reapers in the hope that they return."

"Pffffffff-what!"

"Kidding." I held up a hand.

"Oh keelah, not funny. I've had you back two minutes and you're already teasing me."

"Heh, yeah. Anywho, no, this is a foundation."

"For what?"

"Your house you silly quarian madwoman. What else would I be building?" I said since it should have been obvious.

"Oh Shepard...I can't believe all of this. You were just going to build a house from scratch before even letting me know you were alive?"

"Well I wanted to get it half done or so but yes. It's given me time to think as well." I explained.

"About what?"

"How I'm going to tell everyone what happened."

"Oh."

"Speaking of which...you there, Prime, come here." I called to the closest geth.

"We acknowledge your presence, Shepard-Commander." it said as it joined us.

"Yeah, I bet." I grinned. "You're going to love this."

Staring directly into its info beam I initiated the transmission. It was almost magical in that the conversation was over before it began. I could see where EDI didn't care for the speed of light conversation though. It was just so impersonal and information heavy. There was no savoring words or getting emotions involved. We were done before I had the time to think on what I was saying.

"We will wait for you at the shuttle, Creator Tali'Zorah." the prime said and the entire squad headed back up the cliff.

"What...just happened?" Tali asked.

I rubbed my forehead. "It's a machine thing baby, you wouldn't understand."

"Shepard, did you just-"

"Yeah."

"What made you like this?"

"Well...let's have a seat, my dear."

* * *

"So I jumped into the light beam and this happened." I gestured down at myself. "Not exactly what I was expecting." It was hard talking with Alliers' camera in my face recording my every movement and word but it had to be done.

"What exactly happened with the Reapers, Commander?" she asked.

"Well once I had merged with the Catalyst I understood how to stop them. I ordered them to deactivate using the Crucible."

"That was the white light seen across the galaxy?"

"Yes. It was a simple carrier signal. Using the full energy of the Catalyst to destroy them outright would have wiped out all synthetic life including the geth. That's not all it would have cost us though, the Citadel and the relays would have been taken out too. Instead I issued a...stand down I guess you could call it. Every Reaper had to be targeted."

"Why are there reports of active Reapers in some systems?"

"Ah, yes. Once I spoke to Sovereign and it told me 'we are each a nation unto ourselves'. This is quite literally true and while a vast majority of the Reapers accepted the stand down some did not. From what I understand they've mostly be annihilated by now anyway."

"Will we ever see the Reapers again, Commander?"

"No, never." I shook my head.

"Since announcing this interview I've received hundreds of millions of questions from our viewers. We've paired them down to the highest millions in frequency if you don't mind answering a few."

"I never mind, Diana. Go ahead."

"Thomas Anderson from Horizon asks, 'Hey Shepard, how's it feel to be glowing green?'"

"Heh. Weird, I'll be honest." I admitted. "It's useful though. Imagine having an omnitool in your head. Then give it thoughts of its own that are actually your thoughts too. Kinda like that."

"Interesting. Vol Koroth of the Citadel asks, 'Where have you been since the Battle of the Citadel?'"

"I'm sorry, Vol. That's classified." I held up a hand.

"Fair enough, Commander. Now this is a question we've received quite a bit. The public wants to hear you set the record straight on your involvement with Cerberus."

"Well, you might remember I released an interview a year ago talking about my involvement with Cerberus and their help with the Collectors. Since that vid and the attack on Earth the group went from questionable at best to actual indoctrinated pawns of the Reapers. They were making husks out of their own people by the end."

"Wasn't this the same group that allegedly brought you back from the dead?" Alliers pressed.

"Not allegedly Diana, that really happened. But yes, with their resources we could have fought back against the Reapers much more effectively. But when you desire power at all costs...well at least they're history along with their masters."

"Here's a question from Thessia. Aurna Tille asks, 'What unit or race were you most proud of during the Battle of London?'"

"I know it sounds like a cop out but listen." I began. "I've been a spacer my whole life, I've seen the best and worst from every species. Down there on Earth, with all of our backs against the wall, I saw the best from the men and women of every species. I saw a hanar choke out a husk. I saw a turian take a bullet for a krogan. Many times I saw people die for us, each one of us.

"As far as I'm concerned, every inch of London is holy ground for the people who gave their lives for the galaxy. Human, krogan, asari, Batarian, geth, elcor, rachni, it didn't matter down there. They were all my brothers and sisters no matter where they came from. I would have gladly died to save just a few more of them."

"Well said Commander! Now, I have a question from Earth..."

I spend the better part of two hours talking with Alliers. It's over too soon but when it is I'm glad. I could not stop thinking about seeing my friends and the southeast wing the of mansion I was building.


	2. Chapter 2

A week and a lot of explaining later lands me in a dressing room aboard the Destiny Ascension. Apparently people weren't happy with my vacation and wanted me to make it up to them with a party. Additionally I was expected to make a speech at the grand parade the Council had put together in honor of the Allied victory. It was part of the lavish celebration that was to include inducting every species into the Council. I suspected that me being there was little more than a political gesture but maybe there was some actually progress happening as well. It was hard to tell sometimes.

What was far more pressing was Liara T'Soni in my dressing room expecting me to put on the most puffy shirt I'd ever seen in my life. "Shepard, you have to wear this." she was insisting.

"No I don't." I crossed my arms. "What's wrong with my N7 jacket?"

"That's fine for cruising Purgatory trying to find azure but this is historically important." she reasoned. "You need to look proper."

"First of all, Shepard doesn't cruise for azure, azure cruises for Shepard." I say and look down at the lower parts of her dress. She glares at me as I add, "And secondly, it's important that I'm viewed as I really am, right?"

"Why not wear your Alliance uniform then?"

"I quit yesterday." I reminded her. "There are harsh penalties for impersonating in officer."

"Put on the shirt then Shepard!" she demanded and her biotics flared up. My own responded in kind and we faced each other glowing blue.

"You really want to do this, T'soni? I punched a Reaper in the face once."

"Proto-Reaper." she corrected.

"Still counts. And I know enough about that body of yours to remember how to shut it down."

"Garrus!" Liara shouted at the door. "Get in here and help me hold him down!"

"Put the damn shirt on Shepard!" the turian called through the door. "I want to get to the after party already!"

"Ugh, fine." I conceded. Powering down I then unbuckled my jeans and dropped them to my ankles.

"Shepard!" Liara gaped. "What are you doing!"

"Oh give me a break, it's nothing you haven't seen before." I chided her as I start getting into the ridiculous outfit I'm supposed to wear.

"Yes, well, I doubt Tali would appreciate it."

"She's a big girl. Nothing uncouth in going on here. Just a man getting dressed."

"Speaking of Tali, how did she react to finding you?"

"Right hook to the jaw." I said as I pulled new socks on. "Pretty decent shot for a quarian."

"I imagine so. You can't say that you didn't deserve it just a little." she said with just a hint of satisfaction. "Will you be staying on Rannoch for a while?"

My thoughts shift to the distant future and a few unsettling surprises the choice to join with the Catalyst had produced. "About 80 years or so." I said introspectively.

"I'm sure you'll find a way off the planet before then. People like you too much to leave you alone."

"Yeah." I agreed and snapped out of my reverie. "I heard 'Shepard' is a popular name at birthing centers these days. Take the good with bad I guess."

"You don't like people naming their kids after you?"

"No, not really." I shook my head. "It's a little weird. No, it's a lot weird."

She smiled that small smile of hers and said, "You never change. You're a hero the likes of which has never existed before. What did you expect?"

"I don't know. What's wrong with a thank you letter? A fruit basket?" I suggested.

She laughed and I had to break out a tiny half grin at the sound. "What about you? Any ideas for quarian children names?"

"We'd have to adopt to make it happen and...I don't know if I'm okay with that just yet." I confessed.

"Why not? You'd make an excellent father."

"Yeah, maybe. That's not it though. I kinda had my heart set on a bunch of little blue children."

"Now you're just teasing me!" she pouted jovially but I wasn't in a joking mood. When she realized I wasn't kidding around and I didn't continue the conversation the mirth quickly left her face. "Shepard?"

"There's some things I need to talk to you about." I said seriously. "They don't leave this room, understand?"

"What's this about?"

"Do you understand?" I repeated.

"Yes Shepard, what is it?"

Sitting down next to her I said, "I've been working with Dr. Chukwas on my new body. She came across an interesting bit of information."

"Which is?"

"My cells have almost completely ceased degenerating over time. Even outside of me they last much longer than they should."

"You're...not aging right?" she concluded.

"If I am it's at a much slower rate than a normal human."

"Shepard, that's wonderful!" she said happily.

I shook my head. "No. Not to me."

"What? Why not?"

"I was looking forward to getting old and useless. At this rate they'll be able to call me in to fix some kind of crisis within the century. That...sucks." I frowned. There was a bit more to my hesitation than that but she didn't know to know absolutely everything just yet.

"I don't understand your thinking." she admitted.

"It's okay. You will in time. But more importantly...I wasn't joking about the blue kids."

Her lungs deflated a little and a bit of air escaped her open mouth. "What?"

"Tali and I...well this wasn't planned for. She'll be at rest long before I will if Dr. Chukwas' projections are right. I do want to cherish her until then but...time will take it's course. You asari know how these things go better than anyone."

"Shepard, you-"

"Hold on, let me just get this out. I could never choose between the two of you. We might have drifted apart when I died but it wasn't by choice. And as far as the kids thing goes I'm not sure I could have them even with a human female. Who knows what my SDNA will do? Ideally you would want to use an asari to avoid complications.

"That's not quite the full story though..." I went on. "When I jumped into that beam I saw your face flash before me and no one else's. I don't know what that's supposed to mean...but you know how I feel about you. Give me some time on Rannoch. I will make it up to you a thousandfold."

"Shepard I...I don't know what to say." Liara stumbled.

"Think about it. Decide what you want one way or the other. Just remember one thing: no matter what happens I will always love you, little wing."

Liara looked like I had just punched her in the gut with her mouth hanging open and eyes wide in disbelief. I got up to finish putting on the matching cuff links to go with the ridiculously puffy shirt ensemble. Checking my hair in the mirror I stopped by the stupefied asari and put my hand on her shoulder. She looked up at me with vulnerable sapphire eyes and I smiled down with glowing green ones. I nodded and left her in the dressing room to sort herself out.

Garrus was waiting outside and remarkably dressed in a standard turian dress suit. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him outside of his armor. In fact, I didn't think I could up with a time it had ever happened. Closing the door behind me I sat down next to him on the waiting bench.

"What are those Earth birds that had the huge dotted tails?" he asked.

"Peacocks?"

"Yeah! That's what you look like." he said smugly.

"Dammit, that's what I told her." I scoffed.

"Heh heh heh..." the turian chuckled. "Well, you ready for the biggest party of all time?"

"I'll pass." I said. "Have better things to do."

"Like construction?"

"Yeah. I'm putting in a pretty big bar. Was going to name it The Drunken Turian but when you do an extranet search for it all that comes up are articles about you."

"Ha-ha, very funny human. Speaking of bars though..." he grew a little nervous. "You had me worried back on Earth." Garrus admitted. "That was the second time I'd poured out a drink for you."

"Yes, sorry about that." I apologized.

"Least you're here now. The galaxy would be an emptier place without you, Shepard. Hate to have to find someone else to have my back."

"No charge." I offered.

"Modest as ever." Garrus shook his head. "Seriously though, thanks. What you said meant a lot to me."

"Meant every word of it." I nodded.

"Now, there is something you can help me with."

"Oh?"

"I'm getting myself cast for that statue up on the Citadel. I need you to pose looking sad while I'm raising up my rifle in victory."

"Wait, what? You were serious about that?"

"Hells yes! Ten thousand years from now turians will walk under Vakarian's Arch and say, 'There's the greatest hero of all time. Oh, and he's beating some human at a shooting contest.'"

"I missed on purpose, Garrus." I revealed.

"What is that human phrase? Duh?" he asked.

"What!"

"Shepard, I saw you put a round in a Collector's eye socket while it was flying down at us on Horizon from a hundred meters. No way you'd miss an easy shot like that bottle unless you meant to. I admit I wasn't thinking about it at the time but the more I did the less sense it made." he explained.

"And you'd still make a statue of yourself?" I balked.

"Victory is victory. People can debate whether you missed on purpose or not all they like. Fact is, you lost, I won, my statue, on the Citadel."

"Tch. Classic turian move."

"Winning? Yeah, we tend to do that." he said and was very pleased with himself.

I shake my head at him with a smile on my face. "So how's it been going being the Primarch's right hand man?"

"Pretty dull actually." he conceded. "I haven't shot anyone in weeks."

"Tell me about it. I get itchy when I haven't punched anything in a few days and it's been weeks without a Reaper or hostile batarian in sight. I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms." I joked knowing that it was not exactly a false statement.

"I – oh. Speaking of heads of state, I feel the ground shaking a little." Garrus said.

"Hmm. Krogan air drop incoming."

I could soon hear as well as feel Wrex's heavy stomping a moment later. He barged into the antechamber where we were and past the guards like they were keeping him from a meal.

"Shepard!" he threw his arm out. "I knew the Void wouldn't claim you so easily!"

"Hiya Wrex."

He came over to shake my arm and nearly dislocated my shoulder doing so. "Damn good fight on Earth, wasn't it? We'll be singing about this until we lose our voices a million years from now!"

"Hope so. It's good to see the your people getting some positive press for once. Who do you think will be selected to sit on the Council?" I asked.

"Me of course!" Wrex roared like it was obvious. "Who else?"

"Don't you have others who could serve full time?" Garrus wondered. "Being a Councilor is a hard job."

"We don't have more than one leader, face plate. There's me and everyone else getting in line behind me." Wrex said.

"Krogan." I shrugged.

"Plus with me on the Council we'll get the planets we need to expand. That delatross is going to hear about the attempt to pacify us again for the rest of her miserable, short life."

"And so, though they were brothers, Commander Shepard was forced to kill Urdnot Wrex when he invaded the salarian homeworld." Garrus half-joked.

"Hah! He's not that stupid!" Wrex grinned with a toothy smile. "Neither am I."

"Everyone can be thankful for that." I agreed.

"Well, wrap this up already Shepard." Wrex ordered. "We have a party to get to. The sooner I get home to sooner I get back to repopulating Tuchanka."

"If you were the last male krogan left on your planet I'm sure your species would survive just fine, Wrex." Garrus observed.

"You're damn right we would." Wrex grunted. "And Shepard, I'm expecting to be standing next to you on the platform up there on all the cameras."

"Uh...I think they have everyone's places worked out already Wrex." I said.

"Well, then I'd better go find someone to head butt about this." he said seriously. "By the way, love the new look. Seems like you mated with a geth. Makes you even more dangerous."

"Really? I told him he looked like he swallowed one too many emergency fuel cells." Garrus said.

"Save the krogan, liberate Palaven, defeat the Reapers and still I get sassed by a couple of ugly, ungrateful aliens. Angels help me, I should have stayed dead the first time." I lamented.

"Ha ha! Let's get a move on then. See you later Garrus, Shepard."

"Wrex."

The krogan stormed away as I adjusted the hideous shirt I was wearing. "Well, better get to it."

"Yep. See you out there." Garrus nodded and I got up to head out of the antechamber.

Moving down the halls of the Destiny Ascension I walked to the reception room where most of the guests mingled. The conversations joined into a low cacophony of speech that I used to slip in unnoticed. In front of the crowd Ashley and James were chatting amongst themselves in their finest dress blues. Before they noticed me I saw Ashley touch James on the arm ever so slightly. Judging by her body language and the way they both put distance between each other when they noticed me I'd say there had been some tom-foolery between them since Earth.

"Commander. Good to see you alive." James said and saluted.

"N7. Spectre." I nodded.

"Shepard." Ashley greeted. "You have a habit of showing up when you're supposed to be dead."

"It's a gift. And it's not Commander anymore, soldier. I'm retired." I reminded them.

"Like it matters." James shrugged. "You're a living legend, even if you're lit up like a Christmas tree."

"Tactful as always." I said dryly.

"I uh...never got the chance to properly say I'm sorry about everything, Shepard." Ashley said. "In the words of-"

"It's okay, Ash." I interrupted her and held up a hand. "You might be an alien hating, Alliance loving fanatic but you're the _Normandy's_ fanatic."

"Uh...thanks I guess." she said with a wrinkled nose.

"No problem."

"I uh...should probably check in with the Council while I'm here. See you, Commander."

I nodded as the Spectre took her leave. James watched her go and said, "Huh. Thought you were old friends."

"We are. Go way back." I confirmed.

"Yeah? Didn't seem like it from here."

"We don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. Our past is...complicated but she's a good soldier even with that chip on her shoulder."

"Complicated?" James echoed.

"Ancient history, son. Just don't try to bed her down on you'll get poetic verse sent to you for the rest of your life."

"Hah. Very funny, Commander."

Patting him on the shoulder I said, "See you around, James."

"Wait, you're kidding about that right? Commander? Shepard!" he squawked as I walked away. Though the room was full of conversation and dignitaries in their best outfits that wanted to talk to me I slipped through the crowd to get to a specific trio hanging around at the back of the wall.

"If you're in tell me quick. I've got three days to hit this bastard before he catches wind of it." Zaeed was saying.

"I gotta talk with my people about it but count me in." Jacob said.

"You two can't get enough incoming to save your lives. Would've thought Earth would have beaten the desire for combat out of you." Brynn scolded them. "What would Shepard say?"

"I'd say it looks like my ex-Cerberus squad is up to no good as usual!" I said from behind them.

"Shepard!"

"Commander."

"Good to see you, sir."

"How's it been going?" I asked.

"Good. Wish I'd brought I nicer suit." Zaeed said with his trademark deadpan sarcasm. Much like Wrex I don't think he ever took his combat armor off.

"Nice to see you alive." Jacob nodded. "Everyone though you were dead again but I said show me the body first. Seen you in action too much to expect any less."

"Appreciate that, Operative Taylor."

"Saw your interview Commander. Very interesting what happened with the Crucible." Brynn noted.

"Yeah. That's a word for it." I scratched my head.

"How's it feel glowing like a goddamn Omega billboard?" Zaeed asked.

"Fine, fine. You two seem to be taking no time off."

"Got a job. First since Earth. Gonna be nice getting back into the field without worrying about a Reaper landing on me."

"Eh. Have fun with that gentlemen. I'll be around. Ma'am." I nodded.

"Take care."

"See you Commander."

"Bye Shepard!"

Spotting a large bowl of punch I make a beeline for it to ease my dry throat. As I served myself a cup I noted that a human must have set this display up. It was doubtful an alien would even know what punch was. As I sipped it and mused on the small comforts I saw the outline of a distortion leaning against the wall an arm's length away. I wouldn't have seen it without my interface upgrades and even then it wasn't easy to make out. Despite this there was of course no mistaking who it was.

"You know there's no one looking for you at the moment." I said and sipped my punch. "No reason to hide."

"How did you know?" Kasumi asked.

"You think these thing glow for fun?" I smiled as I pointed at my eyes.

"Useful. Maybe I should apply for Synthesis."

"I could fast track you." I offered.

"No thanks." she held up a cloaked hand. "I like my tech on my arm, not everywhere else."

"Says the woman with a graybox."

"That's different."

"Uh huh. There a reason you're still cloaked?" I asked.

"I'm a thief, Shepard. Never know who might recognize me in a crowd like this."

"Right, right. If you want me to go talk to him for you-" I started.

"Don't you dare!" she growled.

"I'm just saying-"

"He chose his path. Him and those..._scientists_." she practically spat the last word.

"Won't you at least talk to him? You don't have to make it about drama. Just let him know you're available." I persuaded.

"To hell with Jacob." she said. "I've got Keiji anyway."

"No you don't. You've got a cheap imitation and you know it."

"You-"

"Listen." I cut her off. "It's time you let him rest. Ween yourself off of that thing. It's gone on long enough, Kasumi. This reliance of yours if getting unhealthy."

"You don't give me orders anymore Shep and my personal life is none of your business." she snapped.

"Kasumi. You were there at the Collector base. You crawled into a steam vent to clear my path and it very well could have cost you your life. I don't abandon my friends and I don't forget my debts. I owe you. I owe you and I'm going to pay up. If that means protecting you from yourself then so be it."

It was difficult to get a read on her even when I could see her face but this was impossible. She didn't move for a few seconds and I sipped my drink to collect my thoughts. "Please just think about what I'm saying." I went on with a softer tone. "Does anyone else even know you exist? Does anyone else even care about what happens to you? Keiji's gone but the Normandy is still your home if you want it to be. You still have friends. Can't you see that I'm trying to help?"

After a few moments she lowered her head to say, "I'll think about it."

Reaching out to squeeze her invisible arm I made my way back into the crowd. Mingling with a few diplomats I spotted an unlikely pair a few meters away. Excusing myself I snuck up behind Jack while she was making waving motions with her arms at an asari justicar.

"So then I took it and – yaaaaargh!" she shrieked satisfactorily as I grabbed her exposed waist from behind.

"Shepard! You dick!" she said angrily. "I could have killed you just now!"

"Commander." Samara nodded. "I am glad you are alive and well. News of your death was a great loss for the whole of the galaxy. I am pleased it was incorrect."

"Yeah, yeah, big hero as usual. I knew you weren't dead. Too much of a pain in the ass." Jack said.

"Thanks, I guess. How are my two most favorite biotics in the whole world?"

"Just talkin' shop. Biotic fields and shit."

"Jack is...as uncouth as ever but her knowledge is unsurpassed." Samara said.

"You'll have to fill me in." I said.

"Love your new look." Jack admitted. "Pretty sweet looking."

"Eh, at least someone likes it. How's your daughter, Samara?"

"Well, thanks to you. I do not know where my path would be without you Shepard. Words are a feeble substitute but please accept them." she bowed her head.

"Of course. It is you who honor me, Samara."

"No. The honor is still mine, Shepard." she said.

"Hah! Can I speak with Jack alone for a moment though?"

"Of course. Farewell for now, Commander." Samara bowed again and gracefully stepped away from us into the crowd.

"Chick's crazy but damn does she kick ass when she needs to." Jack noted.

"Sounds a lot like you, Jacqueline."

"Call me that again and I'll knock your fuckin' teeth out." she sneered.

"Hah hah hah! Classic Subject Zero." I laughed.

She shook her head at me. "You love pushing my buttons don't you?"

"Hell yeah. Who else would?"

"That's true. No one's got the balls." she agreed. "Listen Shepard, I'm glad all of this worked out the way it did. I feel...good about where I am. Don't know what would have happened to me if I'd never met you."

"I'm happy for you, Jack. You've come a long way." I said and spotted Hackett through the crowd. "Dang, gotta go talk to Hackett. Would you excuse me, my dear? We'll chat again later."

"Yeah." she gestured. I went to give her a hug and she unexpectedly kissed me. Our tongues danced together for a brief, intense moment before she let me go quite unexpectedly.

"Huh..."

"That was just in case you go try dying again, dumb ass." she said and turned to fade into the crowd. I stood there a couple seconds in disbelief but was not entirely upset by what had just happened. Many times I had wondered how things would have turned out if I was building her a house on Earth instead of one for Tali on Rannoch. I banish the thoughts for now as I nudge my way to Hackett.

"Admiral, sir." I said as I approached.

"Commander." he greeted me and we shook hands. "Glad you're still with us."

"Same here. Dying sucks."

"I'll be honest, I had faith in you but I wasn't sure if even you could have pulled that off. Happy to be wrong."

"Yeah..." I trailed off. "I just...wish Anderson was here. Wish he could have seen us now. There's a lot of people I wish were still here, really. It's going to be hard going forward without them."

"No one would be left if it wasn't for you." Hackett reminded me. "Even Anderson would have understood what had to be done."

"I know. He was one of few people who always believed in me. I knew I wasn't going to be able to save everyone...but just a few more would have been nice."

"You've done better than anyone else could have, Commander. I hope you'll realize that is the reason we want you for our Councilor."

"I already said no, Admiral. I appreciate it but I promised a friend I'd retire somewhere sunny."

"Technically you're still Alliance." he pointed out. "And I'm still your superior officer."

"Quite true."

"And retiring without going through the proper channels is tantamount to going AWOL."

"Also true."

"Well?"

"Sir, for lack of a better phrase, bite me." I grinned. "When the house is finished on Rannoch you'll have to come by for drinks."

Hackett's bemused look was the closest I'd ever seen him come to smiling. He put out his hand and I shook it before moving towards the front of the room. There the Council was waiting for me positively smug for some reason I couldn't fathom.

"Commander." the asari nodded. "Or should I say Councilor?"

"Neither." I corrected. "I'm retired."

"Spectres don't retire." the turian said.

I sighed. I didn't want to say what I was about to but some things just had to be done. "You three are the most useless leaders I've ever met, let alone had to personally save multiple times. You could have prepared us for the Reapers much better over the last three years but you didn't. I don't know how you sleep at night knowing how badly you've failed your people and organic life in general. Hopefully this parade is the last time I see your miserable faces ever again."

Turning away from them I looked for someone else to talk to as I stifled the urge to laugh. That had been years in the making and saying it was a huge weight off my shoulders. Maybe it wasn't so much of a bad idea after all. Working my way back to the punch with a small grin I spotted Joker leaning against the back wall. Diverting towards him I avoid his field of vision as I get closer.

"So I have to ask, how was it with the robot?" I said as I came up to him.

"Commander!" he exclaimed. "Damn! I thought we lost you again! You really gotta stop doing that."

"I do it just to mess with your heads." I said wryly.

"I heard you were retiring. What the hell Shepard!" he demanded to know angrily.

"Um, what?"

"You can't just retire! What are the rest of us supposed to do! I'm not flying the Normandy around for some jerk I've never met before! It'll be like Cerberus all over again."

"So take the Iwo Jima and go...I don't know, do tours of batarian space or something."

"I hate you." he cursed me.

"Chin up, soldier. I'm sure the Alliance will think of something for you to do. Maybe you can be the Admiral's chauffeur "

"Yeah, while you build a house in the middle of nowhere way out on the far spiral of the galaxy." he said bitterly.

"You know, I was going to build a handi-capable ramp for you to gimp your way up but not with that attitude, mister." I warned in good nature.

"Go to hell, Shepard."

"Did already. It was lame, so I left."

"Yeah right."

In the corner of my eye I saw the time counting down on my internal HUD. "Eh. Almost time for me to go." I said.

"I'm coming to visit." he asserted.

"Good. Will be nice to have the crew over for a party. See you, Jeff."

"One more thing." he stopped me as I was about to leave. "I've been thinking about it a lot and...I think I want to try Synthesis."

"You're sure?" I asked.

"Yeah. I think so."

"It probably won't cure Vrolik, Joker. Too ingrained in your system."

"I know. I don't mind."

"Ah. I see. EDI." I concluded.

"Is it that obvious?" he asked with downcast eyes.

"Not to anyone but me I guess. A machine who wants to be a human and a human who wants to be more like a machine. You two are perfect for each other."

"You think it's a good idea?"

"Haven't I taught you anything in all the time we've been friends? Get out on the dance floor already." I chastised him.

"All right. Thanks Shepard."

"I'll talk to some people. Should green light you, no pun intended. Gotta go now though." I clapped him on the shoulder.

Heading away from the party I made for the shuttles that would take us to the Citadel. Unexpectedly it was a hanar that was greeting the various delegates. "This one salutes you, Commander." it said in its multiple layered voice.

"Hi. Boarding now?"

"Yes, Commander. This one wonders if that is your wardrobe choice for the ceremony." it asked.

"This? Yeah."

"Are you sexually reproducing with this one? It notes that the clothing is quite puffy."

"I'm going to kill her." I mutter under my breath. "Come on then, let's get this over with."


	3. Chapter 3

A week later and I was back where I should have been. The Sol lumber had held up just fine in Rannoch's dry climate and I had the day to work in peace. It would be weeks before the house resembled the final product but it had already been immensely satisfying to build so far. Shutting off all extranet feeds and my internal HUD I worked in simplicity and solitude. It had been so long since I'd gone a day without an email, a vid call, a worry of some kind on the forefront or in the back of my mind. It was almost strange to be free of the crushing weight of the Reaper war that dogged my every step. It was a burden so heavy that I did not know how I dealt with it just a matter of weeks ago.

Even now it was a weight I was unsure I could bear. When I tried to sleep at night I saw the faces and heard the voices of the dead that never forgot me. I thought maybe that with the conflict over I would be at peace but I was wrong. If anything their grip on me was stronger than ever now that I had definitely survived. Too much sacrifice, too much heart ache, too many friends lost. Sometimes I was glad to go out into combat if it meant I might not come back. I never thought suicide would ever cross my mind but then again I never thought I'd be responsible for half the things I was now. It was a hollow option though. I knew that I had too much to do to allow such a cowardly way out.

Snapping out of it I refocused on what I was doing. With the foundation set and basement poured I'm just now starting on the framing for the first floor. While time consuming the project was moving along faster than I thought it would. Perhaps it was the modern tools or the fact that I did nothing else from sun up to well into the night. The area looked more like one of Liara's dig sites than a house but it would shape up nicely. All in all I expected to get the job done in around a year. If I wanted to I'm sure I could have a crew finish it for me, oh, tomorrow, but this was an excellent learning experience. I would need the practice for eventually building a much larger structure on Thessia for my daughters.

I think for a few moments on Liara and Jack. Thanks to my newly enhanced life span I would be able to give Liara the kind of attention she had deserved since day one but it was Jack who drew the short end of the stick. Many times did I question my decision to be with Tali, not because of anything she did, but because of the strong relationships I had with the other two women in my life. In another, alternate time line I would be on Thessia now trying to mimic the gentle, curving architecture of the asari buildings while Liara would likely be expecting already.

In another I would be busy hollowing out the side of a mountain to make Jack a comfortable training and living area. Maybe we would take the Iwo Jima and turn it into a biotic facility. Either way I couldn't imagine Jack being a mother twice over. One just because of her pugnacious nature and two because of my alien SDNA which only the angels knew what kind effects it would have on our offspring. I genuinely regret being unable to lead three different lives simultaneously so that I might know the joys of all the paths before me. But while Jack and I wouldn't be together Liara and I would eventually and thus it was the dearest, most attractive human I'd ever met I found myself thinking on more.

I suppose my tendencies were always to steer away from Earth. True that it was the heart of humanity but I'd no more connection to it than the colonists born and raised in the furthest reaches of Terminus space. I'd felt the pain of a civilization dying when I went back to put the Reapers down for good but it hurt no less than standing on Thessia and listening to the brave asari soldiers dying en masse. Perhaps this was the reason I had such a strong connection to alien women in the first place. Being born in space, spending most of my life in a space ship, dying once in space. Many of the important moments in my life happened on or around the Normandy. As sad as it was that ship meant more to me than my own home planet.

Too much free time to think. Right here, right now was what was important. Making sure my foundation was level was my biggest recent concern and that in itself was a victory. I spend a few more hours getting the framing ready when I hear a shuttle approaching. By this time it is nearing dusk and I've worked my hands to a light ache. Deciding that it was high time for a well earned rest I start cleaning up for the night.

From above the ridge a lone figure came into view. Coming down to me was the object of my current obsessions. She'd left the shuttle up on the mountain and was trotting down a quickly forming path towards the building site. Her face was always, or nearly almost always, obscured but I'd learned to read her body language quite well. It was actually suggested to me by Kelly Chambers that I pick up how to do it but I blink away the thought. My loyal yeoman had been killed by Cerberus because I didn't have the foresight to advise her to change her identity. I could beat myself up about that later. Judging from her bouncing gait and eager pose Tali was in a great mood which I would not ruin.

She jumps at me when she reaches arm's distance and I catch her with a laugh. A million, ten million, a hundred million ghosts tugged on my shoulders from below and willed me to join them but in this moment I was happy. I don't know what I would have done without the loving presence of Tali, Liara, and if grudgingly, Jack. Without them I'm not sure if I would have the desire to go on living in a world that no longer needed me. Of course I'm not even sure I could have ended my own life thanks to whole thing being deemed illogical by the synthetic side of me.

"We're home." she said as she hugged me tight and was blissfully unaware of the internal maelstrom she had chased away with simple words and affection.

"Yes. It won't be ready for a while but that right there will be home." I agreed.

"You'll make it happen. I see a new tent over there though."

"Same one, only now it's bigger and sterile." I said.

"Oh ho, really? We'll have to test that out later." she suggested wryly. She took my five fingered hand in her three fingered one and led me to the edge of the home's pit. "This is going to be a big house."

"Yep. I was thinking the front part could be like the foyer with a _ran_ out front-"

"I'm sorry, I think my translator skipped. Did you say ran like you were going to run somewhere?"

"No, _ran_ like _Rannoch._ It means 'wall' doesn't it?"

"Yes...?" she answered quizzically.

"I'm trying to learn quarian. It's kind of difficult actually but slipping bits and pieces into my every day conversation helps."

"Can't you just...download it to your head?" she asked tentatively.

"I guess but I'd rather my CPU learn it organically. That way I don't need the translator, just in case."

"When would you be without your translator?" she asked. "It's practically a part of you."

"Yes, well, I'm just saying, maybe I won't be able to rely on it."

She crossed her arms and eyed me suspiciously. "Shepard, what are you planning?"

"So here's the main living room." I went on. "All of this will be glass here so we can look out over the valley."

Still expecting an answer I had to tug Tali along as I pointed to various parts on the imaginary floor. "Here is where the _David _will go."

"That's one of the pieces you recovered from Hock's vault?"

"Yeah. I'm sure Earth would like it back but I'll be damned if they're going to take a quarian citizen's property from them."

"Ah, so you're a quarian citizen now?" she said like a vorcha.

"I assumed your provisional government would extend some sort of honorary title granting me rights. I don't want to be that guy who is always reminding you of his past achievements but your people kind of owe me one."

"We could never properly repay you, Shepard. I could probably make you President of this planet tomorrow if I wanted to." she offered.

"Ugh, never mind, forget I said anything. I'd rather be a Councilor."

She laughed in that musical way that I'd always loved. "No interest in being a quarian politician?"

"I had my fill at your trial. Putting you up for treason for political reasons and the geth war. Which, by the way, your people started anyway and were probably going to lose without my help."

"Eh." she shrugged just like I would. "Sometimes they're stupid and short sighted. Aren't humans sometimes?"

"Hah! Sometimes! More like full time. I'm more surprised when we aren't." I chuckled. "Speaking of that though, what's going on with you and the fleet?"

"Hm. Let's sit to talk. Does this tent of yours have chairs?"

"No, but it has a big soft bed and plenty of emergency induction ports." I teased.

She shook her head and I repeated, "Emeeergency. Induction. Pooorts."

"I get tipsy once and I have to hear about it the rest of the my life." she sighed. "Come on, you annoying human."

When we entered the antechamber to the tent it blasted us with decontaminate before allowing passage into the main room. Crude and not nearly as swift as the precision, germ-killing lasers in Citadel space I had to make do with what I could. The tent was only 8x8 meters or so but plenty spacious for the two of us. Tali took off her face plate and I helped her out of her suit. Unashamed to admire her naked form for a few moments I then retrieved her a robe for her to dress in. Kicking off my shoes I changed into proper indoor clothes while she sat on the end of the bed and watched.

Tali has a small smile on her face as I join her on the bed. Black hair fell down in front of slightly glowing, cataract-like eyes. Her skin was slightly purple, somewhat scaly and rough but sublime in every way. Her soft lips, alien-ish nose and symmetrical features only added to the otherworldly charm of the beautiful quarian in front of me. Gripping the sides of my face with all six digits she pulled me in close. We spend a few minutes kissing which was strange the first time with her tongue. Much flatter, rougher and slightly forked at the end I had grown to like it just as her body had grown to tolerate me.

"Am I getting better?" she asked in her natural, unfiltered voice and I was again thankful for the little things.

"You are. Better not be practicing with some other human."

"Right. Because no one knows who I'm with." she rolled her eyes in a very human way. I don't know who taught her that but I sincerely wished they hadn't. It was one her favorite things she had picked up from us.

"I believe you were telling me about your plans with the fleet?"

She sighed and stated fiddling with my extra knuckles. "They want me to become a part of the new government. Maybe serve as a vice president under Raan or Korlis. Maybe even be voted in as President."

"Sounds pretty good to me. If you're President can you get them to build a hundred meter high statue of me? Maybe carve out a mountainside? I'm sure the geth would help."

"I haven't even accepted anything and you're already trying to abuse my position?" she asked incredulously.

"I'm Commander Shepard. There's certain perks that come with that."

"You're a bosh'tet is what you are. I haven't said yes to anything yet."

"Why not?"

"It's a lot of time at the mainland at work. On councils, ships, meetings, away from home, lots of commitment." she explained.

"Most high paying jobs are." I pointed out.

"I think I might just stay here with you." she said.

"Ooo, that's good too. I still want the statue though. I need something good for when Garrus visits."

"What about you? Do you think the humans will just leave you alone building houses the rest of your life?"

I felt a pang of guilt when she mentioned my life but there was a time and a place to break that news to her. "They'll only call me when something needs blowing up. The Alliance can run itself."

Running her fingers up my arm she traces the outlines of my glowing green nodes that were a permanent part of my body. "Your SDNA is amazing. The pathing is just...flawless. One can almost see where it would interface into your arm if you weren't made of carbon."

"I uh...I'm glad you like it. For a while I was worried you would be turned off to the whole thing."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, your history with the geth and synthetics in general. I could see it being a bit too strange for you."

"You thought green eyes and battery power would make me leave you? After everything we've been through together?"

"It was a legitimate concern." I shrugged.

"Bosh'tet." she said almost as a term of endearment.

"I'm only human. Well, mostly human anyway."

She stood up to pour herself a glass of turian brandy. "I still can't believe the geth are helping us adapt to our homeworld. If you had told me a year ago I would be saying that while sharing a tent with you on Rannoch I would have laughed in your face."

"Bet the Catalyst didn't see that one coming." I said.

She laughed and dropped an emergency induction port into her glass. "What would we have done without you Shepard?"

"That's a really good question. I imagine most everyone would be gooey Reaper paste waiting to be pumped into tubes."

Walking over to me she ran her fingers through my hair. "I hope I'm enough of a reward for you..."

"Oh, you are. You're all the Prize I need."

"You keep calling me that. Does it have a different meaning on Earth?"

"Uh, well, um, no." I stammered and didn't realize I'd been overusing the term. "Not really."

"Ah, okay..."

Taking a few long sips of the brandy she set it aside and stretched out on the bed. Beckoning me to join her I obliged the quarian and laid down beside her. Again I was reminded about how good I had it at that moment.

"What are you thinking?" she asked as we stared at each other.

"Adoption?" I offered.

She bolted upright like I'd just told her I was going to light her on fire. "What!"

"Well even before the whole SDNA thing it was the only option. Now even more so."

"You're sure?" she asked very carefully.

"I'm sure if it is something you want. I think-"

She pounced on me with her full weight and nearly knocked all the wind from my lungs. I tried to fight back but she quickly attempted to suffocate me with her mouth as I flailed helplessly.

Yep, life was good.

* * *

Looking out of the third story window while winds battered the glass Tali'Zorah sang a song in her native tongue. Circling around the bubble shaped crib it was only a half sphere and open to the air. Looking down lovingly she sang about the home world she stood on right at that very moment.

The sound of a gunshot rudely interrupted her. Straining to hear she could make out a human, krogan and turian laughing and trying to shush each other from downstairs.

"I'll be right back, dear one." she said. "If your father is shooting in the house again I'm going to kill him."

The End


	4. Further Reading

Since the ending I've been an active member on Bioware's forums, mostly complaining about the job they did so nothing special there. I did however, before writing Zero Mass, run across a thread challenging people to come up with a better ending. I responded with both a super positive and super negative version of the end that starts at the Harbinger beam and goes from there. It was written in movie format as I felt it was best for cutting through all of the things the game would show/explain anyway. It is changeable based on the way the game had been played and was honestly what I was expecting in the first place. They're both saved on Google docs and I'll post the links on my profile page.

Both versions have Tali as a LI; I also liked the positive ending's very last scene so much I pilfered it for Zero Mass. Yep, self plagiarism at its finest. I recommend reading the bad one first and then the good one to get a feel for how different things go.

Goodnight, and good luck.


End file.
